Hoopdancing part 2

Hoopdancing part 2

Maybe the problem with hoopdancing that I have "trouble with" is because I am not accepting myself as is.  I really do pretty much like myself currently.  Hooping has helped me build more confidence to look past my weight which I couldn't even do when I was 220 pounds, let alone now.  So, I think in my head, dancing needs to be graceful, sensual and beautiful.  Any form of dancing (excluding jumping up and down in one spot) I ever do is...unusual, odd and spastic.  I think what I am doing is comparing myself to others and I'm not appreciating what I am. 

My form of hoopdancing will probably be completely different than those flow queens of the hoop. And that isn't a bad thing.  I may be comfortable doing tricks all up and down this place but really expressing myself is hard.  Afraid that it will look weird and whatever else I'm thinking deep down. Dancing has been something I always dreamed of doing, but I was too old to be a ballerina when I was eight.  Even when I was 220, I still wasn't brave enough to take bellydance classes.  Let me tell you, I have so many bellydance DVDs that it's not even funny.  My husband is not pleased.

After the post from the other day, I've been trying to let go.  Of course, it helps more when I'm by myself.  Lately, I've been dancing with the music as if I had my hoop.  It's been really freeing.  I haven't really projected much of it into my hoopdance.  Although I have been trying to turn when not hooping to the left instead of the constant spin the right.  I did do a bit of it at work last night and I was upset that I had to go back to work. I had just gotten in such a groove with the music I was working with (Halestorm-I'm not an angel).

At the same time, I think I get why people say some hoops have different personalities, they are right.  I've been working with my reception hoop for a month.  I took my troo hoop to work last night and it was a different feel.  My dance had to change in relation to the hoop.  My slow turns around with chest hooping had to become faster and harder to keep it up.  I've purposely been making my red hoop drop a bit has I hoop to do a slow go around.  Although I easily kept the hoop up in scrubs (cotton/polyester mix).  I've gotten better for sure.