First, I was negative at least 8 hours of sleep. When I'm sleepy, I try to hoop at work. I had a lovely 10 minutes of practice there just dancing with my hoop. I felt beautiful. This is what a ballerina must feel like. After I went to work for a training and lost $10 out of my pockets, I pushed everything out of my way and wanted to try just dancing all the stress a way. First I tried to take pictures and I got some cute shots. Evidently I have a timer after timer function on my computer. I was already a bit wary cause my troo hoop isn't connecting completely flush.
After some pictures, I wanted to dance. I started and hit something. I smiled, moved it and tried again. I hit something again. I momentarily gave up and just waist hooped. My favorite song by my favorite artist came on. I tried again. I tried to move but I couldn't. I was afraid I'd lose control of the hoop. I kept moving. I hit something...again. I threw my hoop on the ground and just crumpled on my hoop. I started to bawl like someone had taken away my favorite toy
Maybe in my head, hooping has not been fully validated. Is it ridiculous to cry over? My mother, who has never seen me hoop, thinks I'm ridiculous and doing it for exercise. My husband hates hooping in the house, even safe hand hooping with my mini. He also thinks it's a waste of money and space.
The thoughts through my head will be in this word cloud:
Fun, isn't it? I thought wordle would be the best way to summarize crying thoughts. My muscle, from hooping in one direction, was hurting. Since I had all this room, I stood up and wiped my tears. I started to try to hoop left. I couldn't do it. It fell. It fell. It fell and fell. I couldn't do it. What am I doing wrong? I tried to watch what I was doing to the right but couldn't mimic the other side. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my body? Either I cried again or was borderline. I'm pretty sure I cried again. What's that thing about blindfolding yourself?
I went to the bedroom and hunted for one of my night masks. Found one and it seemed to do. I started to just hoop to the left with my blindfold. Just concentrating on moving my arms and keep the hoop up through an entire song (which I can do).
I couldn't get it to stay up through an entire song. It fell 10 seconds before the song ended. But that's something I can do! Although that's usually with T-Rex arms. What is wrong with me? I hit the cat toys basket which I had just fixed from another hoop session days ago. That was it. I was done. I threw the hoop down for good for the day. With the cry burts, I had no clue if I had reached 30/30 but that was forgetting about work. With my work total, it was 30/30.
I'm not saying I don't like 30/30. It's really pushed me but I don't know if I've improved in my hooping. I don't know if I'm better than I was 30 days ago. I don't know. I really wish I knew if I had improved. It'd help my bruised ego. I just feel like I'm stagnating. I can't walk with my hoop. I can't do awesome tricks. I can't dance. I feel like I'm stuck. I'm in a hooping rut. I don't know what I can do next in my hoop.
I just want a pick me up. Where is a mysterious benefactor that wants to help me achieve my dreams? I just woke up. I feel and look like hell. I had a good 8-9 hours of sleep. Eh. I'm going to Taco Bell for fourth meal.
****don't think that this is a farewell to my hoop blog post. Just sometimes we all have those moments of being completely lost in whatever random thing we do****